


Wanna make you my problem

by aces_low



Series: Unlocked Doors [10]
Category: Generation Kill
Genre: (due to the earlier mentioned drunkenness), Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Arguing, Birthday, Blow Jobs, Drunken Confessions, Drunkenness, Fluff and Humor, M/M, Smut, Underage Drinking, Vomiting
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-28
Updated: 2018-02-28
Packaged: 2019-03-25 01:11:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,551
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13823316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/aces_low/pseuds/aces_low
Summary: Summertime at the house, with new roommates, birthdays, drinking and some very important confessions.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place during the summer between Ray and Nate's Sophmore/Junior year and Junior/Senior year, respectively.
> 
> Fic chronologically takes place a little less than a month after Bring Us Down.
> 
> I decided Ray was a Gemini and made his birthday June 13th, while Nate's is June 23rd.
> 
>  
> 
> Not based on the real guys, just the HBO War characters

“God, Nate,  _fuck_ ,” Ray gasps out, hands scrabbling at the wall trying to find some purchase.

Nate sucks a hard kiss to Ray’s shoulder as he thrusts up, having even less to say than Ray’s babbling.

His knees are already a little sore from kneeling like this - on the bed, behind Ray, pressing him up against the wall - but it’s worth it for just how much Ray seems to be enjoying this position, just as Nate had assumed he would.

And while Ray’s loud moans can give him a heady feeling, despite them being largely performative—for both Nate and anyone sitting in the living room–there’s nothing really like when Ray’s volume lowers and he can’t help the short gasps and mindless babbling he starts in on. Just like now where the only two names Ray can think of are God’s and Nate’s and his vocabulary has been reduced to curse words.

Ray arches his back, resting his cheek on the cool surface of the wall as he chokes out throaty pleas of “fuck, Nate, pl-fuck,” repeatedly.

Nate’s fingers are tight against Ray’s hips, pushing his face into Ray’s neck as he tries to quiet his own noises.

It only takes a few more thrusts before Ray is reaching down, squeezing his arm between his stomach and the wall, to touch himself. He comes with a choked off cry into the wall and Nate follows close behind, letting Ray’s skin muffle his groan.

They both continue to kneel there panting for a minute, Nate peppering soft kisses along Ray’s shoulders and neck, bringing his hand up to run through Ray’s sweaty hair.

Once Ray starts wiggling and pushing back against him, Nate follows his lead, allowing Ray to lay back down on the bed.

Ray pulls the pillows back up to the top of the bed as Nate disposes of the condom and grabs the washcloth and bottle of water he’d left on the bedside table.

After cleaning Ray off as much as he can with a small washcloth, he checks his phone for the time, noting it's past midnight now.

He slides into bed, wrapping his arms around Ray’s middle, kissing the back of his neck and says, “Happy Birthday, baby.”  
   
   
   
The shine of their new living situation still hasn’t worn off yet, so when Nate wakes up the next morning, devoid of covers, and looks over at Ray who has cocooned himself in the sheet and blanket, all Nate can do is grin. It’s too warm for Nate to sleep with a blanket anyway, Ray, on the other hand, is always cold, even in 80-degree weather.

He watches Ray sleep for a few minutes, fighting the urge to stroke his hair or cheek or just touch him in some way, not wanting to wake Ray up too early on his birthday, and for Ray to call him a creep for watching him sleep.  
  
Once he has sufficiently appreciated how lucky he is for the morning, he rolls out of bed and starts getting ready for his day.

 

Rudy is out on the lawn this morning, doing his sun salutations, when Nate makes his way outside. Nate watches him for just a moment before making his way around to the side of the house, to get his bike. Once he’s attached his bike seat and unchained the lock, he heads off toward the bike trail to meet up with some of his teammates who are still in town for the summer, like him.

Nate has always liked the quiet of the morning, getting going before the sun has fully risen. He may not greet the sun the way Rudy does, but he likes to think that he and the sun have their own routine that works for them.

There isn’t any formal practice or conditioning that takes place in the summer for the cycling team, but his teammates and he still like to try to get together a few mornings a week to stay on form.

 

An hour later, Nate walks back into the house to see Rudy, cross-legged on the armchair – his favorite place to meditate.

Nate walks past him without a word toward the bathroom. 

After his shower, just like clockwork, as soon as Nate comes out, Rudy opens his eyes.

“Morning,” Nate greets him, finally.

They have an unspoken rule that they don’t talk until they’re both done with their morning routines. 

“Good morning, brother. Have a good ride?”

Nate grins and nods, always the same. He likes mornings with Rudy. It’s funny that they’ve only actually lived together less than a month, because he’s pretty sure he’s going to miss this once summer is over. The only person who is ever usually up at the same time as Nate is Brad, and their interactions tend to be more in the way of tired grunts and head nods before they both leave to do their own thing.

“Yoga or Tai Chi today?” Nate asks.

“Yoga. You know, you should really join me some morning.”

“I’d have no idea what I was doing,” Nate admits, he’s not opposed to yoga, he’s just seen Rudy in strange positions that he doesn’t think he’d ever be able to get into, or out of if he ever did manage it.

Rudy shrugs. “That’s why I’d be there to teach you.”

“I’ll think about.”

That makes Rudy grin, clearly taking that as Nate agreeing. 

Nate figures it’s better to change up his workouts every once in a while, adding yoga couldn’t hurt.

“Coffee?” Rudy asks as he stands.

“Please.”

Rudy makes the best coffee over anyone in the house. It may have to do with the French press he’d brought with him, but Nate isn’t ruling out Rudy’s own personal brand of magic.

 

“So, any big plans for Ray’s birthday?” Rudy asks.

“I might take him to get some breakfast or lunch, depending on when he wakes up. He’s gotta go in and work on his project for a couple hours. Then just hang out, hopefully, get some of Pappy’s burgers,” he looks up at Rudy for confirmation that Pappy is still coming and Rudy nods. “Then Matilda’s or something.”

When Nate had asked Ray what he’d wanted to do for his birthday the only things Ray had requested were alcohol, sex, and food made by Pappy.

“Pap worked late last night, so he’s gonna have a late start driving down here this morning, but he should be here by 1 to get working, and he’s given me instructions on how to get started on them,” Rudy tells him as he pours a cup for Nate.

“Thank you, I really appreciate you guys doing this, it’s really all Ray wanted. I think since Pappy graduated Ray’s been worried he’s not going to see him, or his food ever again.”

Rudy grins. “Of course, brother, anything for you guys.”

Nate, Brad, and Rudy had all been on the same floor of the dorms their freshman year and had become fast friends through proximity. Rudy had met Shawn – known exclusively as Pappy by their friends -, a sophomore at the time, about two weeks into school starting and the two have been nearly inseparable ever since. 

There have been a lot of comments made over the past few years about how different Rudy and Pappy are and how they don’t make any sense together, and Nate would be lying if he said he’d never thought that himself. But now, being in a relationship where people seem to think the same thing about them, Nate can understand that just because a relationship might not look compatible on the outside looking in, doesn’t mean it doesn’t make any sense.

Sure, if Pappy has ever done yoga it’d only be because of his boyfriend, and Nate knows he’d never even tried sushi before he’d met Rudy, but now he’s taught himself how to make it just for his boyfriend, since, as a pescatarian, Rudy doesn’t get to enjoy most of Pappy’s best dishes.

But, where most people might write Pappy off as a simple, southern guy, Rudy likes to brag that his boyfriend has an old soul and that he’s wise beyond his years. 

All Nate knows is that they’re sweet together and they make each other happy, and, in his opinion, that’s really all that matters.

 

It’s only 8 by the time Rudy and he go their separate ways for the morning, much too early to wake Ray up for the day – or at least that’s what Ray keeps telling him. So, Nate decides to get a headstart on some of his coursework. 

He’s only taking one class this summer. His advisor had assured him that he was on track to graduate on time, even with adding Political Science as his second major, but Nate had figured it didn’t hurt to be safe and get as much done before his last semester as possible. Since Ray was staying for the summer, it was a no-brainer for Nate to decide to stay too, getting a job at the library and taking a summer class were just the responsible reasons he gave to people for why he’d decided to stay.

Working out in the living room goes fine for the first hour, before Kocher gets up and makes himself some coffee and decides to sit in the living room with him. Nate would much rather talk to Eric than take notes for the chapters they’ll be going over in next week’s class, so he wastes a half hour talking until Kocher realizes he has to get to work.

He’s interrupted again, just a few minutes later, when Lilley joins him in the living room, before getting ready to meet with his classmates for the film they’re working on. Nate doesn’t know much about the films Lilley makes, and all the ones he’s seen so far are artsy and don’t have much of a storyline to them that he can ever figure out. But he has to assume that Lilley's been doing something right since he’s in charge of the current project that he’s working on.

Once Lilley is gone, Nate realizes that the house is empty, save for Ray and himself, and he figures it’s late enough for Nate to supply Ray with one of his three birthday requests.

 

Waking each other up with blowjobs is something Ray constantly talks about, even though Nate has only done it twice before and Ray never wakes up before Nate to do it to him. But, since Nate did not get Ray a gift, per his agreement – and after Valentine’s Day he’s bound and determined to keep his promise about no gift giving once he’s agreed to it – he thinks wake up blowjobs will suffice.

So, Nate is 110% sure that when Ray had listed sex as one of three things he wanted for his birthday, this is what he’d meant.

Ray has, at some point, unfurled himself from his cocoon of blankets and is now starfished out in the center of their bed. His face is pressed into Nate’s pillow – Ray often tends to steal Nate’s pillow in the morning, Nate likes to tell himself it’s because Ray wants to be closer to him, but in reality, it’s probably just because it’s cooler than his own – and the sheet is wrapped around him almost like a toga, while the blanket has been pushed to Ray’s side of the bed, up against the wall.

As Nate has never been on the receiving end of waking up to a blowjob, he can only assume that it’s a nice way to wake up. But for him, he’s still not quite used to starting a blowjob without Ray awake and aware. Nate enjoys seeing the heat and want in Ray’s eyes, he likes hearing the frustrated noises he makes when Nate teases him. For Nate, communicating with his partner has always been important, getting to hear exactly what they want and giving it to them.

He just has to remind himself that he does have that communication with Ray, it just happened at an earlier time.

Once he’s started it gets easier, as Ray’s body responds to him. It only takes a minute before Ray is letting out soft, hitched breath moans before slowly opening his eyes. He looks down at Nate, eyes glazed for a moment before understanding dawns on his face.

Ray’s head falls back down on the pillow as he lets out a much louder groan this time.

“Oh, fuck yes,” he slurs out, shifting his hips up when Nate can’t help but try to grin around him.

“Good morning,” Nate says, grin in place as he replaces his mouth with his hand for just a moment.

Ray’s eyes already look blow out. He moans quietly as he looks down at Nate’s mouth, most likely because it’s too far from where he wants it.

When Ray doesn’t speak, Nate puts on a fake pout. “No ‘good mornings’ or ‘hi, Nate’s’ for me today? I feel so loved,” he teases.

Ray groans again and falls back against Nate’s pillow.

“Good morning, Nate, I love you so much. Now, put my dick back in your mouth, please.”

Nate snickers at Ray’s desperate tone, but does as he asks, it is his birthday after all.

Ray’s moan is louder now, his shoulders coming off the bed briefly as Nate gets back to work.

“Fuck, you’re the best boyfriend ever,” Ray says, voice tight and breathless, and Nate attempts to grin again, but doesn’t pull back this time.

Ray brings his hand up to Nate’s head, to card his fingers through Nate’s hair. He strokes softly at first before his grip slowly tightens and he pulls hard at the hair in his grasp.

Nate groans around Ray, causing Ray to gasp and jerk his hips up at the sensation until Nate lays an arm across Ray’s lower stomach.

It doesn’t take long for Ray to start babbling about how he’s going to come. Nate holds Ray’s hips down hard as he works Ray through his orgasm, wincing just a little at how tight Ray is gripping the short hair on the back of his head.

When he pulls back and wipes at his mouth, he looks up to see Ray breathing hard, staring up at the ceiling with a small grin on his face.

“Happy birthday to me, huh?” he says after a minute, smirking as he looks up at Nate.

Nate chuckles and leans over him to leave a short kiss on his lips.

“Ok, just let me catch my breath and then I’m gonna rock your world,” Ray says, moving to sit up, but Nate puts a hand on his shoulder.

“Actually, I thought we could try something different.”

That makes Ray’s eyes brighten, it’s one of his favorite things to hear when Nate says he wants to try something new. 

“Now, you trust me, right?” Nate asks, pulling his shirt up over his head as he gets off the bed to remove his pants as well.

Ray rolls his eyes and scoffs. “What kind of stupid question is that?”

“Ok,” Nate says, getting back on the bed and crawling up Ray’s body to kneel on either side of Ray’s torso. “Just let me know if I do something you don’t want to do.”

Only, instead of responding, Ray just looks wide-eyed and excited as Nate crawls closer.

“Ray,” Nate prompts, needing a verbal confirmation before he just sticks his dick in Ray’s mouth.

“What?” Ray asks distracted, reaching up to let his hand rest against the tops of Nate’s thighs.

“I need a yes or no answer here,” Nate says.

Ray finally looks up at him, blinking wildly. “Yes or no? Nate, I’ve been asking you to fuck my face for like two months now, yes, fuck yes.”

Nate rolls his eyes, though feels a faint flush grow across his skin already. He grabs Ray’s pillow, the one he’s not currently laying on, and picks it up.

“Here, lift your head up a little, let me put this under your head,” he says, holding the pillow out.

Ray rolls his eyes but follows Nate’s instructions. “You’re stalling,” he complains, and Nate rolls his eyes.

“I’m the one who’s hard here,” Nate reminds him, as he slips the pillow beneath Ray’s head.

“I swear to god, Nate, if you don’t put your cock in my mouth in the next three seconds-“

“Ok, no need to get impatient.”

Ray scowls, but Nate scoots just a little bit further up.

“I’m gonna go slow, and you pinch my side if-“

“Fuck, ok,” Ray cuts him off, before opening his as an invitation.

Nate considers arguing with him again, but he’s starting to feel a little bit desperate himself, so he fights that instinct and pushes forward.

He goes slow at first, just as promised, with shallow thrusts as Ray adapts to the stretch and the angle. 

When it’s clear that Ray is not only fully capable of handling it but enjoying it as much as he’s claimed he would, Nate takes his head in one of his hands. Ray lets out a muffled groan at just that small show of control, and Nate is spurred on.

Ray’s hands grip the tops of his thighs tight, his short nails digging into the skin and Nate feels his breathing becomes labored as he starts losing less and less control of his motion, just savoring the feel of Ray around him and under him, as well as the blissed on look on Ray’s face. His mouth is red and spit-soaked, and Nate doesn’t even think about it before he’s dragging his thumb down Ray’s lower lip, pushing his mouth even farther open. 

“God, you’re so good at this, baby,” Nate tells him, voice hoarse.

Ray whimpers at the praise and opens his glazed over eyes to look straight at Nate, and that’s really all Nate needs to take Ray’s face in both of his hands and hold him right where he wants him as he comes with a throaty, “fuck, Ray.”

As soon as Nate’s brain comes back online, and Ray’s hands loosen their hold on him, he quickly moves back and lays down on Ray’s side of the bed.

“Jesus,” Ray breathes out, voice croaky and raw, and Nate shivers slightly at the sound of it. “You’re really pulling out all the stops with these new positions, huh?”

Nate grins and turns to press up against Ray’s side, kissing his cheek and holding him closer.

“I thought you might like that.”

Ray nods. “Oh yeah, we’re definitely doing that again.”

He lets his head rest against the small edge of the pillow and watches Ray’s profile for a minute as he catches his breath.

“You did good, by the way.”

“Hm?” Nate asks, distractedly drawing patterns around Ray’s chest.

“Just saying, I know you were nervous about that, but you did a good job,” Ray explains.

Nate leans up, resting on his elbow now. “Shouldn’t I be telling you that you did a good job? You did all the hard work.”

Ray grins. “Well, we both know I did a good job. But I’m serious, I know shit like that makes you nervous, but you’re good at it. That’s why I like it so much. Like, when it feels like you’re just going for it, cause it feels like you’re just too into it to stop, but at the same time I trust you and know you’d never do something I didn’t want to do.”

Nate can feel his heart beat pick up its rhythm. They’ve come a long way from the first-time Nate finally got Ray to sit down and talk to him about sex, to now, where, without even a hint of a blush – except the one that has still yet to fade from his overheated skin – Ray can openly explain what he enjoys and why. And now he’s even the one reassuring Nate.

He can’t help but lean over to capture Ray’s mouth in a kiss, smiling a little when Ray wraps his arms around him in an attempt to keep him from moving away again.

Once they finally break away from each other, Nate convinces Ray to get up and take a shower so that he can take him out to brunch. After brunch, they separate, so that Ray can go in and work on his project for a few hours, while Nate goes back to the house to continue his homework as he waits for Ray to finish.

Only, when he gets back to the house, he finds Rudy and Pappy in the kitchen, Rudy with his hand pressed against either side of Pappy’s shoulder.

“Everything ok?” Nate asks as he walks in.

Pappy looks up at him and grins, but it’s Rudy who responds.

“Just doing some energy healing, Pap’s been working hard lately.”

Nate nods, not completely sure what that means, or if Pappy even knows what it means, but at this point, no one ever really questions Rudy’s methods anymore.

“Well, thanks for doing this, man. I know Ray really appreciates you coming and making these for him,” Nate tells him.

Pappy nods. “It’s no problem, I would’ve come down for his birthday, anyway.”

“Let me know if I need to get anything else from the store. I think I got everything on the list you sent me.”

A loud clap startles Nate away from Pappy's face. He looks over at Rudy, who rubs his hands together, before placing them against Pappy’s other shoulder.

“Sparks the energy,” Rudy explains when he catches Nate’s wide, questioning eyes. “It activates the Qi and gets the energy flowing.”

“Oh,” is all Nate can think to say to that.

Pappy just grins and looks over his shoulder at his boyfriend.

Nate leaves them at that, starting to realize he may be intruding now.

 

The burgers Pappy makes are delicious, as always. And Ray threatens to leave Nate and steal Pappy away from Rudy, explaining to Pappy that he should be with someone who would appreciate all the delicious food he makes, and, apparently, Ray is that someone.

After he’s several drinks in for the night - due to pre-gaming at the house and then going to Matilda’s, where the 21-year-olds are tasked with continuing to keep Ray drunk - Ray wanders over to Nate to whisper that if he did end up leaving Nate for Pappy he’d, “totally cheat on him with you all the time, babe.”

“That’s reassuring,” Nate tells him, wrapping an arm around him to keep him close for a few minutes. When Ray gets drunk he gets antsy and doesn’t like to stay in one spot or talk to one person for too long, unless he’s trying to make out with Nate. So, Nate takes the opportunity to enjoy some time with Ray before he inevitably wriggles out of his hold to go talk to someone else.

Kocher, Pappy, and Rudy all keep a drink in Ray’s hand for most of the night, resulting in Lilley giving Ray a piggyback ride back to the house.

After that, it’s up to Nate to take care of him from there. 

Ray grins and wraps his arms around Nate’s neck, trying to pull him down so that they’re eye level.

“This was the best birthday I’ve ever had,” Ray tells him, smile wide and open in a way that Ray only ever really is when he’s been drinking.

“Really?” Nate asks, grinning right back at him.

Ray nods. “Yep, except for maybe my eighth birthday, when my uncle took me to the Indy 500. I thought I was gonna lose my hearing. That was the best one. But this one came pretty close.”

Nate shakes his head at his boyfriend’s weird ideas of what constitutes a good birthday, but he grins anyway and bends down to kiss him.

Only, right before they connect, Nate is roughly pushed backward, nearly falling onto the bed. He just sees a blur of his boyfriend running out of the room as his slightly intoxicated brain takes a second to figure out what’s going on. 

As soon as he feels stable on his feet again, Nate follows Ray out of their room to see him bent over the kitchen sink, body convulsing slightly as it attempts to purge him of all the alcohol he’d taken in tonight.

Nate grimaces, but silently thanks his past self for cleaning up after Pappy’s meal, so he’s pretty sure there aren’t any dirty dishes in the sink.

He approaches Ray slowly, not knowing if he wants him there or not.

“You’re ok,” Nate says softly, putting a soft, comforting hand on his back, ready to take it away if Ray tells him to.

Instead of any of that, Ray just turns the faucet on and lets out a hoarse, “fuck,” not moving away from the sink just yet.

Nate quickly moves to grab a water bottle from the fridge, unscrews the cap, and sets it beside the sink for Ray to grab when he’s ready.

Ray spits once in the sink before taking a shuddering breath and grabbing the water bottle.

He takes small sips at first and Nate lets his hand card through the back of Ray’s slightly sweaty hair.

“You good?” he asks, watching Ray’s face for any signs that anything else is about to come up.

Ray nods but doesn’t try to speak, just takes another gulp of water.

“Want to go to the bathroom?” Nate asks, even if he doesn’t need to throw up again, he’s sure Ray will want to brush his teeth.

As they walk through the living room, it doesn’t appear that anyone had heard Ray, proven mostly by the fact that Stafford is the only one in the room and he seems to be well passed out on the couch.

Once Ray has brushed his teeth and has decided his stomach has settled down, Nate pulls him into his arms.

“Still your second-best birthday ever?” Nate asks, rubbing circles against his back.

Ray lets out a few, weak chuckles, leaning his head against Nate’s chest as he nods. 

“Yeah, cause I have you, that’s what makes it so good,” he mumbles into Nate’s collarbone.

Nate bites his lip to keep his smile from overtaking his entire face. He knows Ray is only admitting that because he’s drunk, would never say something so sappy when he was sober, but Nate enjoys the sappiness of it all anyway, glad, for once, it’s not him giving the over-romantic confessions.

 

“Hey, how’d it go yesterday?”

Nate sets his bag down at the front desk before turning to Mike.

“It was fun, you should’ve come out.”

Mike shrugs. “It was Ray’s birthday, didn’t wanna intrude.”

Nate met Mike when he started working in the school library. He’s a grad student who’s been working there for over three years. Mike has been showing him the ropes, much better than their actual supervisor, Craig.

More than that, Mike is becoming a good friend of his. Even though Nate’s attempts at including Mike in things his other friends do hasn’t worked out too well so far.

“Who’s intruding? We just went to a couple clubs,” Nate tells him. “Ray likes you.”

Mike shrugs again. “Maybe next time.”

Nate wonders if it’s an age thing, if Mike isn’t interested in meeting his friends because he’s older than all of them. Though he doesn’t seem to have any issues with Nate being younger than him, so Nate doesn’t really believe that’s the case. 

Ray assumes its due to Mike having a crush on Nate when they’d first met and he’s now too uncomfortable to be around Ray. Nate vehemently disagrees with this theory.

“You’re coming out next weekend, though, right?” Nate asks.

Mike nods but doesn’t look over, so Nate decides to drop it for now.  
 

“Hey baby, you’re giving a whole new meaning to the term sexy librarian.”

Nate rolls his eyes and turns to see Ray leaning over the desk, a wide grin on his face. 

“That’s a terrible pickup line,” Nate says.

“Well, first of all, I was talking to Mike,” Ray says, winking at Mike who snorts and grins, but doesn’t look away from his computer. “Secondly, I’m not trying to pick anyone up, I’m happily taken, sir, and I don’t think it’s very professional for you to be hitting on me like this.”

That makes Mike snort again and Nate glares at Ray for a moment, weighing the pros and cons of arguing further, but with Ray, that could go on for much longer than he’s willing. 

So, instead, he just asks, “what’re you doing here?”

Ray shrugs. “Thought I’d walk you home, like the loving, attentive boyfriend that I am.”

Nate grins wide and feels a rush of warmth in his chest and at the tip of his ears.

“Okay,” he says happily. “About five more minutes and I should be ready to go.” 

Just as he’s logging out of his computer, Gretchen, another one of his coworkers, trudges her way into the library and sets herself down in the seat he’d just vacated.

“Excited for the night shift?” He asks rhetorically as he grabs his bag.

Her dead-eyed stare says it all, but she still adds, “thrilled,” in her normal, impassive tone.

Nate grins and leaves her to it, waving at Mike as he goes.

He grabs Ray’s hand, letting their fingers lace together, as he calls out one last goodbye to his coworkers before they make their way home together.


	2. Chapter 2

There’s a soft, scratching sound somewhere off in the distance, and it piques Ray’s subconscious mind’s interest. He’s slowly waking up when a loud thud hits his ears, causing him to jolt straight up in bed.

His slightly blurred vision meets a wide-eyed Nate, who is clutching a T-shirt against his bare chest.

“Sorry,” Nate says softly.

Ray lets his head fall back down onto Nate’s pillow with a “mpfh” hoping Nate translates that into ‘it’s ok’.

His tired eyes close again easily, ready to fall asleep to the now much softer sounds of Nate getting changed when a sudden realization hits him.

“Wait,” Ray slurs, blinking his eyes over and over until he can see clearly again. “Wait, no, Nate!”

“What?” Nate asks, sitting down beside where he’s laying.

Ray sits up again, getting a good look at his boyfriend who has clearly already been up for some time.

“I was supposed to wake you up with breakfast and blowjobs,” Ray complains.

Nate bites his lip in a poor attempt to hide his grin, which just makes Ray scowl.

“What the hell? I even set an alarm so I could get up before you,” he says, reaching for his phone to see that it’s almost 10 o’clock.

“Uh, it did go off,” Nate tells him, placing his hand on Ray’s forearm and squeezing lightly. “But you kept hitting snooze on it so many times that I eventually just turned it off and got up.”

Ray frowns, not remembering that at all. Apparently, he’d been way too ambitious in his goal to wake up before Nate and had inadvertently just woken Nate up even earlier than normal.

“I’m sorry.”

Nate leans forward to kiss the small pout he’s sporting away. 

“It’s ok, Rudy let me do some yoga with him, it was actually pretty nice.”

That makes Ray raise his eyebrows in interest. “You’re doing yoga now?”

“I figure once or twice a week it wouldn’t hurt to do something different,” Nate says with a shrug.

“Does that mean you’re gonna get all flexible? Oh, we’re gonna have to get the Kama Sutra just to see what you can do,” Ray says, grinning wide.

Nate rolls his eyes, but there is a slight tinge of red in his ears that makes Ray sure that he’s now thinking about it too.

“I literally just started, I’m not gonna be able to do anything impressive for a while.”

Ray shrugs and wraps his arms around Nate’s neck. “I can be patient,” he says before kissing Nate again.

Nate immediately responds, kissing him back and letting his arms wrap around Ray’s middle. 

He leans back, looking Nate dead in the eye and asks, “do you think that’s what Rudy and Pappy get up to? I mean, you gotta assume Rudy is all kinds of flexible, right?”

Nate opens his mouth, like he wants to reply, before he just shakes his head and rests it against Ray, silent laughter apparent by the way his shoulders are shaking.

Ray was being completely serious, but he grins at Nate’s laughter anyway, turning his head to kiss his temple.

“Happy birthday, by the way,” Ray murmurs, moving back for just a moment before kissing him again.

He can feel Nate’s smile against his shoulder and sees it for himself a moment later when he looks back up, before kissing him hard on the lips again.

 

Nate’s birthday is just as low key as Ray’s had been, with him stealing Ray’s own birthday requests of just alcohol and sex.

Poke, Walt and Garza have all come up for the weekend, and the house is packed full of their friends, ready to celebrate Nate’s 21st birthday.

Mike, Nate’s new coworker, and friend, even ends up joining them out, staying to himself at first, clearly uncomfortable with a crowd of people he doesn’t know. Ray has only talked to him a handful of times when he’s gone to visit or pick up Nate from the library, but he seems like a cool guy and Nate thinks he’s hilarious – a fact that had made Ray vaguely concerned for all of two minutes before Nate had assured him that he didn’t need to worry.

So, Ray decides to take it upon himself to make sure that Nate’s new friend isn’t feeling awkward amongst the rest of the group. 

“Hey, having a good time?” Ray asks Mike as he approaches where Mike is just sitting off to the side, silently listening to Poke, Nate and Garza argue about the different shots that Nate has in front of him.

Mike’s grin is easy and relaxed and he nods his head, tipping his beer at him.

Ray narrows his eyes, figuring Mike probably is doing fine keeping to himself, but he knows, tomorrow, Nate will worry that he’d ignored Mike too much and made him uncomfortable since he didn’t know anyone else. 

So, Ray, the excellent boyfriend that he is, just takes Mike’s wrist and pulls him off the barstool he’s been sitting on since he’d arrived. He looks around the bar for a moment, trying to find who the best person to introduce him to would be. He considers Pappy, only, he and Rudy appear occupied with each other. He looks over at Walt, Lilley, and Stafford who are talking to some girls at the other end of the bar and quickly rules them out. 

It’s when he sees Kocher at the bar, paying for another beer, that Ray lights up. Eric is the perfect guy to integrate a new person into the group. He’s low-key and easy to get along with, but fun when it counts, and from what little Ray knows about Mike, he’s sure the two will get along well.

He drags Mike over to Eric just as he’s turning.

“Kocher, have you met Mike?” Ray asks, planting himself and Mike right in front of him. “He works with Nate at the library.”

Kocher looks at Ray with a quirked eyebrow for just a moment before he grins at Mike.

“Oh yeah, nice to meet you, you’re the one that’s getting their M.A. in Middle Eastern Studies?”

Mike looks surprised. “Uh, yeah, I am.”

“I’m going into International Relations with a focus on the Middle East, Nate was telling me about your theses.”

Ray smiles to himself and ducks away, not really interested in listening to Kocher go on about his major again, or listen to someone talk about their research for an hour, just satisfied that he’s found someone for Mike to talk to.

Now, he just has to make sure the birthday boy hasn’t had too many of those shots already.

 

Ray stumbles through the threshold of their bedroom, trying to keep Nate upright just long enough to drop him on the bed. It’s not that easy when Nate has latched onto Ray like a koala and refuses to be any help in the walking part of their journey. 

“Two more steps, bright eyes, we got this,” Ray says, whether it’s an encouragement for Nate or himself at this point, he’s not sure.

Nate falls easily onto the bed, only to have kept a tight grip on Ray’s shirt, making him land face first into Nate’s collarbone. 

“Really?” Ray asks, attempting to push himself up, but Nate seems unbothered by Ray’s hard landing, immediately attempting to kiss every square inch of Ray’s face that he can reach.

Nate’s clumsy hands stretch down to lift Ray’s shirt up and over his head, but Ray scoots back, trying not to laugh at how handsy his boyfriend gets when he’s drunk.

“You’re gonna pass out in like 45 seconds, let’s not start something you’re completely incapable of finishing right now,” Ray tells him, rolling to the side to sit next to where Nate is laying.

“I can finish,” Nate slurs out, grinning at him before sitting up and smacking a wet kiss against Ray’s chin. “I’m so good at finishing.”

Ray rolls his eyes and uses this opportunity to pull Nate’s shirt up and off. It’s easy enough to do because drunk Nate clearly thinks this is leading to somewhere other than him sleeping comfortably.

When Nate tosses his shirt somewhere in the room he moves in to kiss Ray again, actually managing to get Ray’s lips this time, it doesn’t make the kiss any better than the chin one though.

“Hey, let’s lay down,” Ray suggests, pushing Nate back lightly before laying down himself, hoping Nate will follow his example.

Which he does eagerly, choosing to lay half of his body on top of Ray’s. Instead of trying to make out with him again, Nate just reaches down to grab Ray’s hand, bringing it up to his lips to kiss once before he lays his cheek against the palm. Ray has no control over his smile at that strangely sweet gesture.

“I have to tell you something,” Nate stage whispers.

He looks down to where Nate is laying on his chest and grins. “Oh yeah, what’s that?”

“I like your dimples,” he says, poking his finger into where Ray assumes his dimple is. Though Nate can’t actually see where he’s poking, so it may just be his cheek, but it’s impressive that he didn’t just poke Ray in the eye, or accidentally shove his finger up his nose.

“Yeah, you tell me that every time you’re drunk,” Ray reminds him. “You need a new line.”

“You’re cute.”

Ray shakes his head as he watches his ridiculous, wasted boyfriend.

“Not as cute as you are,” Ray counters.

Instead of having a normal reaction to that, Nate whines and pinches Ray’s side.

“No, that’s not the thing. The thing is bigger,” Nate says, then appears to realize what he’s said and muffles his laugh into Ray’s hand.

Ray laughs along with him.

“Then what was the thing?” he asks, once Nate has stopped laughing.

“I…love you,” Nate slurs, moving his cheek enough that he can kiss Ray’s hand again.

“Really? I had no idea.”

“No, you don’t _get_ it,” Nate moans. “I _love_ you.”

“I love you too.”

Nate groans again and shoves his face into Ray’s chest. 

“No, I don’t just mean I love you. It’s… _all_ the stuff,” Nate insists.

Ray is starting to get more curious over amused now. “What stuff would that be?”

“I _mean_ ,” Nate starts, drawing out his vowels. “That I’m gonna marry you and we’re gonna get married and all that, all of it.”

His heartbeat picks up its rhythm at Nate’s words and he knows it’s not the few drinks he’d had tonight that’s making him feel warm all over. 

Before he can say anything though, Nate continues.

“Unless…unless you don’t want to get married because marriage is an antiquated tradition or, or it’s too lame for you or, or whatever,” Nate says, sounding surprisingly coherent while also stumbling over his words.

He cards his fingers – with the hand that is not currently being occupied by Nate – through Nate’s hair.

“Well-“ Ray starts, but apparently, Nate still isn’t done.

“I just don’t know that they’ll let us adopt unless we’re married. Obviously, we don’t need to be married to be together forever, but think of the kids, Ray.”

Ray blinks quickly, trying to process all this new information.

“We’re adopting kids now?”

Nate nods. “Mmhmm, two, the perfect amount. They’ll have each other for companionship, but we won’t be overwhelmed by having too many.”

“You’ve thought this through,” is all Ray can think to say.

“Yeah,” Nate sighs, resting his cheek on Ray’s chest and lacing his fingers with the hand he’s still holding hostage. “Unless you don’t wanna do any of it. That’s just what I mean, ya know? When I say I love you.”

Ray hides his growing smile in his pillow for a moment before turning back to look down at Nate, watching as he continues to play with his fingers.

“Well, I’m gonna marry you too, so I guess it’s a good thing we’ll both be there for it,” Ray jokes, mostly to cover up the odd mix of excitement and nervousness and affection that is coursing through his body.

“Oh, I’m gonna be there,” Nate insists, finally looking up at him, a large, self-satisfied smile on his face, before he turns to kiss Ray’s chest, his shirt still a barrier between them.

That doesn’t deter Nate as he continues his trek down, kissing along Ray’s ribs and stomach. Ray’s breath hitches when Nate finally is able to push his shirt up a little to press a kiss to his skin.

“Your mom probably shouldn’t be there though,” Nate says, voice muddled as he tries to talk and kiss at the same time.

Ray huffs out a laugh. “She’ll be heartbroken.”

Nate scoffs, looking up at Ray, quirking an eyebrow. “Only cause she won’t be able to object when they, ya know, ask for people to do that. You _know_ she’ll use that. Why is that even a thing? Does that come from when people were being forced to marry someone and they needed someone there to object? I should read up on that.”

That causes Ray to frown, scrunching his face as he tries to piece together whatever weird thing Nate’s drunk brain is trying to say. 

“Why would my mom want to object to us getting married?” he asks, just in case Nate starts going on a tangent about old laws, and the history of marriage or something.

Nate groans and rests his forehead on Ray’s stomach for a moment before his hands make their way up to clumsily try to unbutton his jeans.

“Nate,” Ray says, grabbing Nate’s hand to stop him. “Why do you think my mom would object?”

“I can’t tell you that,” Nate sighs, resting his cheek on Ray’s lower abdomen.

Ray is really confused now, this doesn’t feel like just weird drunk talk anymore.

“What can’t you tell me?”

Nate resumes his kissing, but Ray stops him again, grabbing his chin to make him look up and meet Ray’s eyes.

“What can’t you tell me?” Ray repeats.

“I can’t tell you that your mom hates me,” Nate says with a huff, digging his fingers into Ray’s thighs.

That makes Ray chuckle. “She doesn’t hate you. Is this because she didn’t invite you to dinner? I know that was weird, but that-“

“She trapped me in the elevator and told me,” Nate slurs out, dropping his head back down, his chin now digging into Ray’s thigh. 

Ray stops and watches Nate for a moment, but it doesn’t look like he’s about to pop his head back up and say something else ridiculous and nonsensical.

“Wait…what? What elevator?” Ray asks, moving to sit up, because this doesn’t feel like a joke anymore, this feels like Nate is telling him something real. Only, when he tries to move, Nate’s dead weight holds him down. “Nate, c’mon.”

He looks down to see Nate fast asleep, using his hip as a pillow.

Ray huffs in annoyance and tries to ignore the sweet, relaxed face of an unconscious Nate. 

It takes him several minutes, and he’s nearly out of breath by the time he’s done, but he’s eventually able to wiggle himself out from under Nate’s dead weight and pull him up the bed, resting his head on his pillow.

He pulls Nate’s jeans off and dumps them on the ground near his discarded shirt before Ray undresses and crawls back onto the bed to lay beside him.

Unfortunately, he’s not nearly drunk enough to just pass out, and his mind is running on overdrive after Nate’s words. 

It’s no surprise that Nate doesn’t think Ray’s mom likes him very much, after the weird way she kept him from going out to dinner with them, and how they really hadn’t spent any significant amount of time together or get a chance to even really talk. And Ray knows that’s his own fault, he had warned both of them against talking to each other, for fear of his mom being weird and embarrassing him. But it also means his mom probably came across as cold or uninterested in Nate.

Ray knows that’s crazy though, Nate has to know that his mom had been excited to meet him, she had been excited to meet everyone. He pictures all the different, embarrassing ways she’d greeted all his friends for a minute before he realizes that he doesn’t actually have an embarrassing memory of Nate and his mom meeting, just the moment that he opened his door to reveal that they’d already met.

‘She trapped me in the elevator,’ is what Nate had said. Ray turns to watch Nate sleep for a minute as he tries to decide if that was just weird drunk talk or something that may have literally happened. He can’t imagine his mom ever doing something like that to anyone, but until this moment he also couldn’t imagine that his mom wouldn’t like Nate either. 

 

Ray doesn’t sleep at all, or if he does it’s in too short intervals that add up to next to nothing. He can’t get comfortable and he can’t stop thinking about Nate’s words.

He knows that there’s no way that his mom would tell Nate that she hated him, he knows that. She has no reason to hate Nate, she has only ever heard Ray say good things about him. She’d even been excited for Ray when he had called her and told her that Nate had asked him out.

But still, it’s not like Nate would just say something like that for no reason.

By 7:30, Ray gives up on trying to sleep anymore and wriggles down the bed, not worried about waking Nate, who is still in the same spot Ray had dropped him on last night.

He contemplates making some coffee, knowing his hungover friends will appreciate it once they’re awake, but he figures he’s got a couple more hours before anyone is going to be getting up.

His fingers tap against his cell phone as he paces around the kitchen for a few minutes, and he knows what he needs to do. 

He tiptoes past the bodies passed out on the floor, wrapped up in blankets and sleeping bags, trying not to wake anyone as he closes the front door behind him.

Even though it’s early, it’s somewhat muggy out and Ray is sure it’s going to storm sometime today. Thankfully, his mom wakes up early on Sundays, in order to take his grandma to church, so he’s almost positive he won’t be waking her up by calling so early.

He hesitates to hit the call button, but then shakes his head at himself for acting so weird about this, he’s never had any trouble talking to his mom about anything, even uncomfortable stuff. Once he talks to her, he knows he’ll feel better.

“I’ve gotta tell your grandma, all her praying’s worked, miracles do exist,” she jokes as her greeting.

He rolls his eyes. “Morning.”

“Now, what has you up so early on a weekend?”

“I couldn’t sleep,” he tells her honestly.

She hums in sympathy. “Somethin’ wrong?”

He takes a deep breath, ready to figure out what’s really going on.

“It was Nate’s birthday yesterday,” Ray starts, even though he’d already told her that just a few days ago.

“Oh?” she asks, sounding distracted suddenly.

“Yep, 21st birthday, so, you know, everyone was buying him drinks last night.”

“I bet,” she says, still sounding like she’s only half listening.

“Yeah, so he got completely wasted and…just said some really crazy stuff,” he tells her, keeping it vague but honest, he’s not going to tell her about Nate revealing his big plans about marriage and kids.

There’s silence on the other end of the phone for a moment, just long enough for Ray to wonder if she’s hung up, but then she’s back, attention completely on the phone call now.

“I knew it,” she says under her breath before raising her voice, her tone turning steady and serious. “Ok, do you have any other friends living in town right now?” 

The makes him wrinkle his forehead in confusion. “Uh, what?” 

“Call one of them, see if you can stay with them for the week, I’ll fly out next weekend and we can find you an apartment.”

Ray feels like he’s missed a few steps and has no idea where she’s gotten the impression that he wants to move.

“Why would I do any of that?”

“I knew this was a gonna happen,” she says again, ignoring Ray completely. “I knew that boy was gonna be a problem. I’ve known boys like him, they’re all the same.”

Ray’s stomach sinks and there’s a tightness in his chest when he realizes what’s going on.

“He was right,” Ray says, stopping her from planning more of his unnecessary move away from Nate.

“What?”

“Nate was right, you do hate him.”

“I-“ she starts but cuts herself off, clearly she hadn’t expected this.

“Mom, please tell me you didn’t trap him in an elevator and tell him that you hated him.”

There’s a pause and Ray is ready to throw his phone.

“I never told him I hated him,” is what she finally says and Ray feels like his entire body has burst into flames.

“Are you fucking kidding me?”

“Watch it.”

“What did you say to him?” he demands, incapable of regulating his tone.

“Josh, this-“

“What did you say, mom?”

She sighs. “I just told him that I don’t approve of your relationship.”

“What?” Ray can feel his voice crack slightly at his tone, and now he’s pacing up and down the sidewalk, unable to stand still.

“You’re allowed to have fun in college, but you also gotta think about your future, and I just don’t want you wasting all your time and focus on some boy.”

Ray nearly growls, realizing that he’s only ever heard his mother use Nate’s name maybe a handful of times, most likely an attempt at distancing herself from him as much as possible.

“That _boy’s_ name is Nate, and I’m not wasting time with him. I’m in love with him,” Ray tells her. “Plus, he’s the reason I focus in school, he’s the reason I work as hard as I do. It’s not you and your nagging, it’s his.”

He can hear her sigh on the other end and another wave of anger spikes through him. 

“And just to be clear,” he continues. “He’s nothing like Brian, I actually have some taste in the guys I fuck.”

“You watch your mouth. I am still your mother, Josh Ray,” she says, sounding about as angry as Ray feels.

“Fine, don’t…I don’t want to talk to you for a while,” he tells her, he’s run out of steam and now he just feels tired and sad, still unable to believe that she’d do this.

“Josh-“

“No, I’m too mad at you right now,” he cuts her off, needing her to know that he actually is trying to be serious here. “If you want me to watch my mouth then I’m gonna need to not be so mad when I talk to you. And that’s just…not right now. Bye.”

He hangs up before she can say anything else and he feels a sharp pain stab through his chest. Ray has always been able to talk to his mom about absolutely anything, but right now he has no idea what to say to her.

It had never even occurred to him that she would have a problem with Nate, if anything, he thought she’d be thrilled that he found someone as good as Nate is. Though it’s not really Nate she has a problem with, clearly, if she doesn’t like him then it stands to reason she wouldn’t like anyone Ray could be dating because she thinks Ray is just going to ruin his life, the way she did.

Ray stops his pacing and looks back at the house, remembering back about a month ago when his mother had been here. Everything is starting to make much more sense. Nate had been distant from the beginning, because that’s when she had told him that she didn’t approve of him, and whatever else she may have said to him. She’d been so happy to meet everyone else, especially Brad, and Ray can just imagine how that must have felt to Nate. And then that stupid dinner. Ray wants to kick himself, he should have seen it then. He doesn’t know why he hadn’t pushed when he first felt like something was wrong. He also doesn’t know why Nate has kept his mouth shut about this for so long. In fact, it seems as though this is something Nate had been planning on keeping from him forever, if only his drunken brain was capable of keeping a secret.

With that, he feels a whole new surge of anger course through him and he stomps his way back into the house, slamming the door behind him.

“What the _fuck_?” Someone moans from the couch, clearly not enjoying being woken up before 8 am after the night they all had.

Ray doesn’t care, just storms his way over sleeping bodies and back to his room.

Nate is still passed out in the same position Ray had left him in, and Ray only takes a second to feel bad for what he’s about to do before his anger fuels him again.

“Wake up!” he yells, yanking the pillow underneath Nate’s head out from under him.

Nate lets out a low groan and tries to burrow his face down into the mattress.

“Get up, Nate, we gotta talk,” Ray demands.

“’s wrong?” Nate mumbles out, lifting his head slowly only to cover his eyes and forehead with his hand, like it’s all going to fall out if he doesn’t keep it in place.

“You lied to me,” Ray says, standing over the bed as Nate attempts to sit up.

“What?” Nate sounds a little more awake now, though it still sounds like it’s causing him physical pain to talk, which Ray can imagine it is.

“You’ve been keeping secrets from me, important fucking secrets, Nate.”

“I don’t…” Nate trails off, finally sitting himself up and letting his legs hang off the side of the bed, he takes a few deep breaths, probably to keep the room from spinning, before he finally looks up at Ray. “What’s going on?”

Ray scowls and crosses his arms. “When were you planning on telling me about what my mom did to you?”

Nate doesn’t look confused for even a second, clearly knowing exactly what Ray is talking about. “It’s…it’s not that big of a deal, I didn’t…” he has to take another deep breath before continuing. “Can we maybe talk about this in a few hours when my head doesn’t feel like it’s going to implode at any second?”

“Which part? The part where you just chose not to tell me shit that is actually relevant to me and to our relationship? Or the part where my mom trapped you in an elevator to tell you that she doesn’t approve.”

Nate winces before blinking slowly a few times. “She didn’t trap me in an elevator.”

“I’m using _your_ words here.”

“Fuck,” Nate presses his palms to his head and takes one last deep breath before standing up. “I’m not keeping anything else from you, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about this, but it didn’t feel right.” 

Ray frowns, now looking up at Nate, who does not look too stable on his feet. “Tell me everything she said to you.”

Nate sighs and reaches out to put his hand on Ray’s arm. “Ray, can we just-“

But Ray cuts him off, stepping away and then stomping back out to the kitchen. 

Ray pulls a glass down and fills it with water before opening the house-shared cabinet to pull out some Advil. He leaves the bottle on the counter, knowing more people are going to be looking for it. Nate peeks his head out the door before slowly making his way into the kitchen. 

“Take that,” Ray says, pointing to the pills and water before he starts making some coffee.

Nate does what he says and sits down at the kitchen table. Ray can feel Nate’s eyes on him as he works, but he doesn’t turn around until the carafe is filling up.

“Talk, and I’m serious here, tell me everything,” Ray says, turning to lean against the counter.

Before Nate can respond, a voice from the living room calls out. “Would you shut the fuck up?”

“You shut the fuck up!” Ray yells back. 

“Go back to your room.”

“This is my house, I can talk about my relationship issues in any fucking room I want.”

“Not at 8 in the morning, asshole.”

“Everyone, shut the fuck up,” a new voice yells that he’s pretty sure sounds like Poke.

Ray rolls his eyes before looking back at Nate, raising his eyebrows to let Nate know that it’s time to start talking.

“I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I thought-“

“No, right now we’re talking about what my mom said to you. We’ll get to your decision to keep it from me later,” Ray cuts him off, then starts getting two mugs ready for their coffee.

Nate hesitates for a moment before taking a deep breath, Ray isn’t sure if this breath is to work through his pain or to give him the confidence to speak. “She just told me that she wasn’t happy with the relationship, because she wants you to focus on school.”

“I swear to god, Nate, tell me the truth,” Ray demands, feeling himself get angrier by the second. “Is this just what you do? Just give me partial truths and keep the important shit to yourself?”

Nate looks almost scandalized by the accusation, and Ray knows he’s pushing it a little, but he’s so angry right now he doesn’t really care. 

“Of course not,” Nate insists, his eyes becoming wide and sad and Ray almost feels bad, almost.

“What did she say?” Ray asks again, before pouring the coffee.

Nate waits for Ray to take a seat across from him at the table before starting.

“The thing about not approving because she wants you to focus on school is true. But…she said that I’m your first boyfriend and we’re getting too serious and I’m a distraction, and really wanted to drive home the point that I’m your _first_ boyfriend.” 

Ray feels sick, and he can’t help but wonder what it had felt like for Nate to hear those words. If Nate’s mom had said the same to him, he doesn’t know if he’d have had it in him to stick around. 

“Is that it?”

Nate nods. “That’s it.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes, I’m sure,” Nate says, voice taking on an icier tone now. “I’ve replayed it in my head every day since it happened, so, yeah, I’m sure.”

Ray isn’t going to let Nate’s anger win though, because he’s much angrier. 

“And yet, you never once thought ‘hey, maybe I should let Ray in on this, involve him in this problem’.”

Nate sighs and takes a sip of his coffee. 

Before either of them can say anything else, Ray’s phone lights up, showing that his mom is trying to call him. He scowls and ignores the call.

“Ray,” Nate chides.

“I told her that I don’t want to talk to her for a while,” Ray explains.

“You can’t do that.”

Ray quirks an eyebrow. “Actually, I can.”

His phone lights up again and Nate points at it. “Answer your phone, Ray.”

“No.” He pushes his phone closer to the center of the table and crosses his arms. 

The silent ringing stops and Nate huffs.

“This is why I didn’t tell you,” Nate says, pushing back in his seat, voice rising in anger. “I’m not gonna be the reason you don’t talk to your mother.”

Ray rolls his eyes. “ _She’s_ the reason I’m not talking to her right now.”

“Why do you guys have to do this right here, right now?” Another tired voice yells from the living room.

“Didn’t you know, Garza? Nate and Ray are the only two people who matter in this house,” Poke answers sarcastically, loud enough for them to hear.

Ray is just about to yell back when his phone lights up for a third time. Before he can turn it off again, Nate reaches over and grabs the phone, holding it out to him.

“Answer the phone.”

Instead of doing that, Ray takes the advice of his angry, hungover friends and walks around the table, past Nate, and back into their room, slamming and locking the door behind him. 

 

\------------------

 

Nate can feel his heart throbbing in his temple and his stomach feels like it’s had battery acid dumped into it, but, the ache in his chest at Ray being angry at him is somehow the worst feeling he has going for him right now.

He watches as the phone in his hand stops ringing and he can feel another pull on his chest. This is exactly what he’d been afraid of, or it was at least one of the options he’d been afraid of. The other involved Ray immediately deciding that his mother was right and leaving. At least this option only involves him locking himself away in their room.

The phone lights up again, this time with a text from Ray’s mother.

_Josh Ray you answer your phone right now!!_

Nate knocks on the bedroom door.

“Ray,” he calls. “Please just talk to your mom and let her know you’re ok.”

There’s only a beat of silence before Ray yells back.

“She’s not worried about me she just wants to feed me more bullshit. I’m done listening to bullshit today.”

Nate bites his lip to stop himself from arguing that Ray is the one that woke him up, and if he didn’t want to talk to him he should have just let him sleep. But he’s almost positive that won’t go over well, so he keeps his mouth shut.

The phone lights up again, Ray’s mom calling, again.

“If you don’t come out right now I’m going to answer your phone.”

Nate can hear Ray’s scoff through the door. “Yeah, be my guest.”

He knows Ray doesn’t think he’s being serious, so he sends a glare right through the door, takes a deep breath, and answers the phone.

“Hello.”

“J-Josh?”

“Uh, this is Nate, actually.”

She hesitates for a moment before she slowly and deliberately says, “Nate, I would like to talk to my son.”

Nate tries to keep his scowl out of his voice when he responds.

“I’d like for you to talk to him too, unfortunately, he’s locked himself in our room like he didn’t just turn 20-years-old last week,” Nate says, raising his voice toward the end to make sure Ray hears him.

He can hear her sigh on the other end of the phone, and he has to wonder if this is something she’s used to from Ray from when he was younger. He would never have guessed that Ray would be the type to lock himself in his room. Out of the two of them, Nate would assume he’d be the first one to do something like that, though he supposes he has run away to their room a few times, just without locking Ray out.

“Ok, well, could you just tell him to call me when he’s out. I have to leave here pretty soon, but I’ll be back in an hour.”

“I mean…I can relay the message, but he’s not gonna listen to me,” he informs her. “He’s already mad at me, and apparently, me telling him to answer your phone call was the last straw.”

“Wait, he’s mad at you?”

Nate frowns, hoping he’s not hearing enthusiasm in her tone.

“Yeah, he’s upset that I didn’t tell him about…our disagreement.”

He cringes at his wording. Disagreement implies there was a mutual problem, instead of just the one-sided criticizing he’d been on the receiving end of from her. But saying that seems wrong.

“Right, well, uh…I guess I should apologize for that,” she says slowly and Nate is starting to feel uncomfortable again. 

“It’s fine,” he says, mostly because he doesn’t want to talk about it, not because it is actually fine at all.

“Well, Josh said that you think I hate you, and I am sorry for making you feel that way. I…I don’t hate you, Nate.” She sounds tired suddenly. “I have some reservations about the relationship, but I shouldn’t have taken it out on you or made you feel uncomfortable. So, I’m sorry.”

Nate bites his lip, supposing that’s probably the best they’re going to be able to do, for now, so he’ll take it.

“Thank you, I appreciate you saying that.”

Before either of them can say anything else, the bedroom door unlocks and opens slowly. For about a half a second, Ray looks calmer than before, but then his eyes widen as he takes Nate in.

“Holy shit, are you actually talking to her right now?”

All Nate can do is nod before Ray snatches the phone out of his hand and pushes him back.

“You two aren’t allowed to talk to each other when I’m not around,” he demands, speaking into the phone, but looking right at Nate as he speaks.

Nate rolls his eyes but doesn’t say anything, sure that Ray’s mom is already talking.

Ray listens to whatever it is she’s saying for a while, rubbing his forehead and sighing every few seconds.

“Yeah, that’s because he’s too polite to tell you to go to hell,” Ray finally says.

“I wouldn’t say that,” Nate insists, hoping he’s loud enough for Ray’s mom to hear him.

Ray holds a finger up toward Nate as he listens to his mom. Nate just scowls at him.

“No,” he says in response to her, she says something else and he just says, “no,” again.

He sighs again and rolls his eyes at Nate, as though Nate is just going to nod along and agree with him.

“Fine,” he suddenly says, sounding final, making it seem like the conversation is coming to a close, she did say she had to leave soon.

She talks for another few seconds though and Ray shakes his head.

“No, no, I told you, Nate and I are going to visit his family next weekend.”

Nate crosses his arms over his chest, wondering if she wanted Ray to come home next weekend, or god forbid, wanted to come back here for the weekend.

“Because Jane has been wanting me to visit, she-“

He’s cut off by something his mom says, and Nate is starting to feel uncomfortable again by how angry Ray still seems to be.

“Nate’s mom,” Ray says, probably in response to the question of who Jane is. “She’s the type of mother who is actually nice and accepting of her son’s boyfriend.”

“Ray,” Nate hisses, really wishing he’d let this go, she’s already apologized and Nate really doesn’t want to rock the boat with this any more than they have to.

Ray just holds up his hand again, only this time it seems more placating than angry, so Nate just sits down, still a little unsteady on his feet.

“Did you know that I got a text from everyone in Nate’s family for my birthday?” Ray suddenly says, sounding almost sad. “Yeah, his parents and his sisters, all remembered and all sent me nice messages for it. I bet you didn’t even wish him a happy birthday while you were talking to him just now.”

Nate scratches at the surface of the kitchen table, not sure how to feel about the sadness in Ray’s voice. He’d never expected a happy birthday from Ray’s mom, he hadn’t even expected an apology, so for him, he’s thrilled with what he got. But Ray, maybe, last week, when Nate’s family was sending him texts, thought that his mom would also do the same for Nate. Like, maybe the families are in competition for which one is better, and once again, Ray thinks he’s coming up short.

“Ok, sure,” Ray says, and this time it really does seem like the conversation is coming to an end.

“Ok, yes,” Ray says again, sounding impatient now. 

His mom talks for another few seconds before Ray says, “I love you too,” and hangs up.

Ray sighs again, and Nate just watches him for a moment before standing back up and taking a few tentative steps toward him.

“Is everything ok now?” he asks.

“No,” Ray says, sounding almost petulant, before his shoulders slump a little. “She said to tell you happy birthday, by the way.”

Nate nods, not really sure what to do with that information. 

“Things are…fine, I guess. She knows I’m still not happy with her, but, she said she apologized and that’s a step in the right direction.”

He looks up to Nate to verify that what she said was true, so Nate nods.

“She said she’s still not thrilled about the relationship, but she shouldn’t have taken it out on me,” Nate tells him.

Ray rolls his eyes. “It really isn’t about you. She’s just freaked out because last time she fell in love with some guy, he knocked her up, and then he split and her life was basically over. She’d never say it like that, to me at least. But having me pretty much ruined all her plans, so she’s basically of the opinion that if a cute guy tells me he loves me then really all he’s out to do is ruin my life in some way.”

Nate frowns at that. It makes sense, that she might be wary, but Nate wishes he’d been given a chance to prove that he has no intention of ever ruining Ray’s life, though he’s not entirely sure how he’d go about proving something like that.

“So…are we ok now?” Nate can’t help but ask.

Ray rubs at temples for a moment before taking step toward Nate.

“You should’ve told me.”

“I didn’t know how,” Nate tells him.

Ray huffs. “You know that as soon as we stop communicating shit falls apart for us.”

Nate crosses his arms. Ray isn’t wrong, since they first started dating they’d had to agree on being completely open and honest with each other, as they are both prone to overthinking and landing on the worst possible scenarios in their heads. 

“She’s your mom,” Nate says as his excuse.

But Ray isn’t swayed, and just shakes his head. “Do you remember what you said to me, when I was first meeting your parents?” 

Nate’s not sure where he’s going with this, he’d said a lot of things around that time to try and calm Ray down. 

“You said, that if they treated me badly, and you just let them, then I should break up with you.” 

Nate frowns. “This is different.” 

“How is it different?” 

“I didn’t want to cause a problem between you two.” 

“She’s the one that decided to trap you in an elevator and tell you how bad you were for me, this isn’t your fault.” 

“Then why am I the one in trouble? Also, I told you, she didn’t trap me, we just…rode up and down a couple times.” 

Ray rolls his eyes. “And I told you that I’m using your words from last night.” 

“Yeah, well, drunk me may be a little overdramatic.” 

“I’ll say,” Ray grins. 

Nate eyes him over carefully. 

“What? What else did I say?” 

“Just regular stuff people say when they’re hammered.”

Nate narrows his eyes. “Which is?” 

“Oh, ya know, just that you love me,” Ray starts. 

Nate nods, because that’s ok, nothing bad about saying that, he says that when he’s sober too. 

“And that you want to marry me.” 

Nate grimaces, ok, so, not terrible but a little desperate, but also, still true. 

“And that we’re going to adopt two beautiful children and join the PTA and become that gay couple that directs the elementary school musical and annual Christmas programs.” 

Nate’s eyes widen and he can feel the heat in his ears now. “I said all that?” 

“Well, the adopting part, I maybe have intuited the rest.”

Ray grins, wide and amused, apparently done being mad for the moment. So, Nate takes a chance and wraps his arms around Ray’s shoulders. Almost immediately, Ray brings his arms up to wrap around his middle, and Nate is not too proud to admit that he sighs a little in relief.

“It’s not the worst idea,” Nate tries, avoiding Ray’s eyes, still a little stunned that he’d admitted all of that last night. He is never getting that drunk again.

“It’s fucking ridiculous, actually,” Ray counters and squeezes him just a little bit harder when he goes to take a step back. “But we’re both pretty fucking ridiculous.”

Nate chuckles, leaning down to kiss him soft and closed-lipped.

When he pulls away, Ray’s eyes are bright and his dimples are showing and Nate doesn’t feel quite so sick to his stomach anymore.

The moment is quickly broken, however, by the sound of Poke yelling from the living room. 

“Now that your little rom-com bullshit is over, you two, shut the fuck up.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!


End file.
